It is well known that Hillary Clinton is devoid of charisma. In her public appearances she comes across as tense, rehearsed, and oftentimes disingenuous. Her quips (E.g. “Deal me in” “Trumped up trickle down”) all seem like they were dreamt up by a speechwriter and poll tested several times before being sent out into the public. Without being exciting, charismatic or new, she struggled to excite voters enough to join them to her cause.
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Hillary’s Surrogates
And so, several weeks before the elections, it was clear she needed help. The first phase of her “help” was to gather a handful of Hillary surrogates that do have charisma, and get them to pimp her out. Her husband was the first person called upon to perform such a duty. His charisma is so impressive that he can have multiple rape claims against him, disbarment from the bar, a very public affair, and an attempted impeachment, and still be considered good ‘ole Bill. And yet, Bill just could not make up for Hillary’s smug and uptight persona. So, in come another two surrogates.
Barack and Michelle Obama are both very capable orators and extremely skilled at connecting with the public. Barack will be considered for a very long time the coolest guy ever to be president, and Michelle Obama’s time as first lady has endeared her to the public to such a degree that many want her to run for president in 2020. Yet despite having these two run around swing states putting on rallies and speeches, Hillary still appeared stale to the public.
Much like a black hole, it did not seem to matter how much charisma surrounded Hillary, cause as soon as it entered her sphere of influence, it was crushed. So, she did what any sane person would do. She scoured Hollywood for the most ardent Hillary supporting celebrities, and got them to pimp her out.
Hillary’s Celebrity endorsers
In came Beyoncé, Jay Z, Jon Bon Jovi and a whole host of other celebrities. Even before she trotted out her army of celebrities, she had plenty on stage several months earlier at the Democrat National Convention (Lena Dunham, Katy Perry, Meryl Streep, that girl from ugly betty). For the celebrities that were not musicians and could not perform at her rallies, they sent endorsements. She had an impressive line-up, but as trump succinctly said, he did not need the help of celebrities to fill up the seats at his rallies. Whereas Hillary did. And while everyone may like a Beyoncé concert, they don’t actually rate her political acumen that highly.
Unlike Trump, Hillary delighted in celebrity endorsements. And celebrities were so enamoured with her and so sure of her presidency that a host of them even vowed to leave America if Trump won. Most of them said they would move to Canada, although a few had different destinations (None said Mexico – makes me think they are all a bunch of racists). Cher really branched out and opted for Jupiter. But now that Trump has won, these celebrities have doubled down on their promises. Amy Schumer in particular called those who wanted her to honour her promise, as disgusting. Lena Dunham wrote some drivel about how she was joking and she will live according to light and justice. Or something along those lines, it was pretty wishy washy.
But even with all these celebrities behind her, and all their performances, they still couldn’t carry her fainting body across the finishing line. Perhaps it was because she couldn’t fool people into thinking that other people’s charisma made up for her lack thereof. Or perhaps it was because people don’t actually care about the politics of actors and musicians that much. Or perhaps, and I think most likely, people don’t like being told who to vote for by a bunch of sheltered elitists who only care about social issues and the gender of the nominee.